can't stop thinking

I cant help but think there is something wrong with me.
i try so hard
whether you think that i do or don't
I really do
Something always happens
don't feel bad for me
its obviously my fault
but the problem is that i don't understand it
I try so hard
i really do
I put more towards things than you think
I am ready to just quit
it doesn't make sense
i work for you, i really do my best and enjoy doing a good job
keeping people happy
and you give me money in return
But why is that worth it?
And when i do something that is apparently wrong in some form of reality whether it is yours, mine or a random persons it is some how true
and holds so much weight.
just because someone said it,
it automatically is a rock sinking in the sea.
bringing little air bubbles down with it
as if it is impossible to mistake a feather from a rock
for some it apparently is
why don't you see it?
it's because the rock hit you in the eye.

Track or Treat

So last night was Halloween and some of the local bike community people put on a a bike race in downtown Minneapolis. Of course this is somewhat of an underground race (the streets aren't shut down or anything and the city sure as hell doesn't know about it). So this was a Fixed gear (if you don't know what that is click here) race only, no other bikes were allowed to compete and this how it went: 4 minute time bonus for wearing a costume and 2 minute time bonus for riding brakeless. There five pickups and 5 drop offs, the pickups had to be in order but the drop offs could be in any order.

So the beginning of the race was at Peavey Plaza downtown MPLS. We met there, registered and were off. The first stop was the Gold Medal Spiral where you had to run up the hill and get your candy and stamp. I reached in my pocket for my manifest and it was gone!!! ahhhh first stop!! I looked everywhere in the grass even though it was dark, reached in my pocket again and it was there. My mind was playing tricks (on Halloween) on me. Gotta out of there and headed onward. Next stop was the walker pedestrian bridge which is on the other side of downtown, i was tired.
The rest of the race was really fun, i saw a lot of people having really close calls.

At one point i was trailing three guys who where not as tired as i was because i was losing them. Finally they hit a red light that they couldn't really run. i caught up and with my momentum was able to thread the needle through while they where standing there flat footed. I flew by and heard Hayyyy oooooo. That was probably my favorite part of the race. I also had a few times i had to turn and ride suicide (into traffic) to save time. that was fun. i had another racer following me because he didn't know where he was going and i turned towards traffic on a one way, i wonder if he was prepared for that... he heh

When i got to the finish, it was at someones house, i handed in my manifest and the guy organizing it (pickles, Thanks again) told me i got 5th place!!!! whooo.
Thats the best I've ever done in an alleycat.

Afterwards there was a party with a few kegs and a few bonfires. I met some really cool people and had a good time. There are some photo's here

and here is a photo someone took of me practicing a track stand